Come Out to Play

Note: After a week of simply chasing the "high" of having a crush, I'm killing the liking I have for that wrong person. 

COME OUT TO PLAY 

 By Yen Reyes

With little paper boats,

afloat in a nearby puddle,

artificial cookware and toy cars on dirt,

and tiny pebbles scattered,

all around the cold, hard floor

of the heated earth,

he flicked a finger

to make them stones move.

As she await her turn,

with giggly anticipation,

there came voices.

they chuckled and pounded

against each other.

And she had her try,

with 'em pebbles.

He didn't see.

and nothing moved either.

One quick glimpse,

they knew for sure.

The pebbles are done with.

They left the area,

walking side by side,

at first.

Then,

She was behind,

his fast paces.

 and his wingmen.

Then there were mere spaces.

and shadows,

and fading voices,

against the backdrop,

of a setting sun.

She looked,

to where they are.

And lowered her glance.

Never play with boys.

"You delighted me."

Someday's Abandon

A month from today, 
was when I told myself that I'd finally make a decision.
To let go.
Blindly, I said the words.
And what I asked for happened.
It did,
with all the unknown pain I never thought existed.
After five years,
I was on my own again.
No hand to hold,
nobody to watch movies with,
no one to back me up,
no one to goof around with and cry to.
Nobody to tell me things are gonna be alright.
All that we were,
became mere subjects in photographs. 
Looking back now,
as fresh as the wounds still are,
I feel distant to what was. 
Like, half a decade of my life happened eons ago. 
When I wasn't aware.
When I didn't fully know.
When I was just someone who threaded,
wandered, in ignorance.
And now, all I keep are memories.
Them memories that fade,
like 'em old photographs.
And like those old gifts that tatter, or rust.
Like feelings that were real, then; and just imaginary, NOW.
Like those places,
that you thought were stationary, and linear.
But as you emerge into the shadows,
you learn they're alive.
That they're haunting,
that they knew you.
And each alley, or corner, or store, or theater, or even door,
were witnesses. 
They whisper to your ear as you pass,
and they tease you as close your eyes to go.
There is surrender,
but somehow, them memories crawl.
Back and forth,
to and for....
On and off,
sore to sore.
I am writing now,
to remember this juncture.
When I can say that there are still remnants, 
of my old love.
And my old self.
For the day would come,
when it wouldn't just be surrender,
but abandon.
When all ties,
and memories,
and broken promises
and empty hopes,
wouldn't matter.
When the alleys, and the corners, and the stores,
and every where else,
wouldn't poke in memory.
Today, I still feel.
In the little crevices of my heart,
where light hasn't crept in, yet.
And these words, are the manifest.
Someday, all these,
that's heavy on the chest,
and bitter in retrospect,
will be nothing but,
faraway specks and figments.
Of an old flame.
That the wind tested,
as it held on. 
That died its natural death.
That got lost, in changes, and transitions.
I shall keep all that's painful.
I will stare at all that's blinding.
I would linger where it's not comforting.
Just to learn,
how to feel someone's palm again,
and know never to let go.
I'd exhaust myself, and bask in the awful

Just to learn,
how to love again.
'Coz I will, 
I'd love again.

Your pain is the breaking of the shell
that encloses your understanding.
Much of your pain is self-chosen.
It is the bitter potion by which the
physician within you heals your sick self.
Therefore trust the physician, and drink
his remedy in silence and tranquility.
– Khalil Gibran 

I am awesome!

Hello everyone! Sorry if I've been so busy lately! February's one busy month for me! It's been a roller coaster ride recently. I mean that in many ways, emotionally, above all. I think it's what they call quarter life crisis. Anyway, I just dropped by to say that I'm doing better now. =) Somehow, I've recovered from my detachment mode. =) I've come to realize that no matter how I hate myself at times, me is all I have. =) Got to face the monster, me again. No matter how dark or ugly or unwanted I feel, all I can work on is how I think, react and deal with things. 


So for now, I'm gonna keep walking... without any sure path to go to. And I'm gonna keep smiling, despite all uncertainties that hide within. Like what my dear student Shawn tells himself, "I am awesome!",  I have to believe that I am that too. That deep within me is that fantastic individual with various potentials yet to unfold.=) Can't be too hard on myself. I have to let my personal expectations go. ^_^

I hope things get better from here!May I delight in even the tiniest of reasons.

 Let's go out there and smell the roses! ^_^